As an elderly person, this evening I have decided to leave a
lesson/advice for the Bihari women in general and Maithils in particular. It is
a fact of life that in perhaps all communities in Bihar including Muslims, the
marriage of a daughter, due to high cost involved, has become a lifelong
harassment for the beleaguered parents. They are extra alert to get rid of this
burden as soon as possible. In case, any couple has more than one daughter, he
is destined to remain poverty stricken for his whole life. Not only that, even
today in India gender bias, male dominance and treatment of fair sex as second
rate citizens, compel the womenfolk to remain at the receiving end all the
time.
The scenario being so, even intelligent girls find their
academic career disrupted. Often the society would try to convince her that
marriage being the main ‘sanskar’ for a lady, she should not skid it as the
education could be pursued even after that. This futile logic,though succeeds to sway her innocent mind but, her
God gifted talent is lost in the uneven barren field of family life. In her
husbands house, not only he, but every other family member nourishes high
expectations of her.By the time she learns to tune herself to the chores of
making morning tea for the father-in-law, make up husband’s sister, evening
massage of the mother-in-law and cooking, she becomes pregnant and the next
three years are sacrificed over the painful family raising exercises. All these
commitments are so demanding that her academic hobbies are lost like a feeble
stream in a desert. This deterioration is so much that ultimately she also
starts behaving lik thee old illiterate mother-in-law. As a result,
intellectually there is no development of the family.
The ladies, who have been caught in this predicament, I wish
them to give a chance to my experiment with my two daughters. Despite seeing
them involved in ‘grih karaj nana janjala’, I always encouraged them not to
lose their literary touch. My two advices, to start with were to regularly read
a newspaper and spare some time to read any authentic book of their choice. The
Niti says, ‘anbhyasevisham shastram’. So this regular literary touch should at
no cost be overlooked. Then they should try to give vent to their creativity
and explore their projection in press or electronic media. By the time children
gain age, she would be in a position of devoting more time to this mission. It
is a fact that not only the mother-in-law and husband, even the son/daughter
will try to discourage her. Despite these dissuading forces, she should remain
honest to this mission.
The encouraging result of this policy has started accruing to
my family. My middle daughter, Anjana a qualified mass communication personnel,
started her career in the TV and even today as a PR of Singapore, has been
sharpening her penmanship. My youngest daughter, Aparna, a double Post-
Graduate, has, of late turned to the social madia. Her poetic acumen has
suddenly made her a prolific poetess. In her poetry, you will have a luring
touch of Hindi, Urdu and Persian words and phrases. Within a year she has
composed over 150 poems which are warranting encouraging comments from
scholarly friends. I am glad to know that some publishers have approached her
to get a book published. Like her, her eldest sister, Archana is also active in
the Poetry Society. It gives me adequate pleasure that they are equally deft in
prose as well. Now a days, free of child rearing, they have a lot of time to
concentrate on their creativity. When I come across them being praised by
reputed men of letters, I felt vindicated.
To all such girls, who were caught in the whirlwind of
unwanted marriage and family raising, I honestly request to try this tip.
Believe me, it will change your personality and redeem your literaray love. If
this could influence any daughter, it would make me personally happy at heart.
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